Topic is Sleeping. 
			
				    				Skan ( member #35812)		posted at 5:37 PM on Saturday, January 5th, 2019	
				Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
  		
	 	 			
				    				Broken5152 ( member #67694)		posted at 5:51 PM on Saturday, January 5th, 2019	
			 
	<removed>
[This message edited by Broken5152 at 9:21 AM, January 11th (Friday)] 
 
			 	 			
				    				Daisy73 ( new member #69257)		posted at 2:13 AM on Monday, January 7th, 2019	
			 
	This is wonderful I am going to try this! 
 
			 	 			
				    				 heartbroken_kk (original poster  member #22722)		posted at 6:10 PM on Sunday, February 3rd, 2019	
				FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good. 		
	 	 			
				    				 heartbroken_kk (original poster  member #22722)		posted at 7:03 PM on Saturday, February 16th, 2019	
				FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good. 		
	 	 			
				    				sisoon ( Moderator #31240)		posted at 3:35 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2019	
				fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.		
	 	 			
				    				minusone ( member #50175)		posted at 2:00 AM on Sunday, April 7th, 2019	
				"I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better".   Maya Angelou		
	 	 			
				    				 heartbroken_kk (original poster  member #22722)		posted at 2:25 AM on Sunday, April 28th, 2019	
				FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good. 		
	 	 			
				    				sisoon ( Moderator #31240)		posted at 5:47 PM on Thursday, June 27th, 2019	
				fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.		
	 	 			
				    				Chrysalis123 ( member #27148)		posted at 3:04 PM on Tuesday, July 23rd, 2019	
				Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift.  - Mary Oliver
Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie		
	 	 			
				    				sisoon ( Moderator #31240)		posted at 7:33 PM on Monday, August 5th, 2019	
				fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.		
	 	 			
				    				minusone ( member #50175)		posted at 11:51 AM on Tuesday, October 1st, 2019	
				"I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better".   Maya Angelou		
	 	 			
				    				minusone ( member #50175)		posted at 10:39 AM on Tuesday, November 12th, 2019	
				"I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better".   Maya Angelou		
	 	 			
				    				Lost9420 ( new member #71999)		posted at 4:43 AM on Wednesday, November 13th, 2019	
			 
	First of all, this is a great post so thank you for taking the time to write it out.  I visit that dark place quite often and will definitely try your advice. 
 
 
	Second, please let me know if this is inappropriate or threadjacking, but I wanted to ask about handling the mind movies during intimate moments.  For myself, my wife has refused to R and although this is NNN, I've found myself looking at porn to distract myself and to fill the physical void.  However, I've been finding it difficult because of the mind movies.  Any suggestions? 
 
 
	Again, let me know if this is inappropriate and I can edit and start a new thread or something. 
 
			 	 			
				    				sisoon ( Moderator #31240)		posted at 5:50 PM on Thursday, January 9th, 2020	
				fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.		
	 	 			
				    				minusone ( member #50175)		posted at 10:39 AM on Saturday, March 7th, 2020	
				"I did then what I knew how to do.  Now that I know better, I do better".   Maya Angelou		
	 	 			
				    				HardKnocks ( member #70957)		posted at 12:15 PM on Saturday, March 7th, 2020	
			 
	Great post! Mindfulness is amazing! 
 
 
	Another trick: 
 
 
	Picture yourself on a stage performing a favorite song, preferably one that you know all the words to (if you don’t know all the words, make them up). If it’s upbeat and you can create some dance moves—all the better!   
 
[This message edited by HardKnocks at 6:17 AM, March 7th (Saturday)] 
 
			 		 			
				    				StillLivin ( member #40229)		posted at 10:56 PM on Friday, March 27th, 2020	
				"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014		
	 	 			
				    				 heartbroken_kk (original poster  member #22722)		posted at 6:17 PM on Tuesday, April 14th, 2020	
			 
	bumping for shegotmeagain 
 
			 			FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good. 		
	 	 			
				    				 heartbroken_kk (original poster  member #22722)		posted at 2:50 AM on Sunday, May 3rd, 2020	
				FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good. 		
	 	 
	 Topic is Sleeping.