I am not sure what forum to post this on but I'm here because the original betrayal that brought me here was long ago.
That was in 2008. We divorced. I dated a man, G, for 7 years until 2017. We split up after a dumb fight. He was so anxious he heard things I didn't say, and I gave up. Both of us had trust issues. Eventually we salvaged a friendship as I never stopped caring. His mother died and he grieved. G got stage 4 cancer, I took care of him, we reconnected emotionally, overcame past blocks, and even knowing he was dying we got married. We had an amazing wonderful loving 4 months of marriage. He died January 2025.
I am still grieving the loss, and also trying to understand why he was so anxious.
This past weekend I met with his aunt who was his mother's sister and asked her why.
She said there are skeletons in the closet in the family. She told the story of G's mother having an affair when my husband was a baby. She got pregnant, and his Dad took her back and raised G's brother as his son. That was R.
I had not heard this story before. She said she had never told anyone.
My husband G and his brother R were very different. G was an artist, didn't focus on money. R was always wheeling and dealing and became a multi millionaire and has a wealthy lifestyle. My husband was very heartfelt and sacrificed to help others. The brother barely helped at all when my husband was sick and was very distant and disconnected. Cold where my husband was very warm despite the anxiety.
Do I keep this info to myself as the aunt did? As G's parents clearly wanted?
But why should I know and not the brother?
There isn't a way to verify this as both parents are dead. Not sure a DNA test could be done at this time.
My experience with being honest about difficult topics are that then people see me in a negative light when I did nothing wrong and I don't want that drama in my life. I'm inclined to say nothing, as his brother is not friendly to me anyway. He is in his 60s now.
All the same, I know if there was a question about my parentage I would want to know.
I am puzzling over what to do with this bombshell.
I'm open to thoughtful responses. Thank you.
